[Today: Remembering the first day of my last year of college...]
I pried my eyes open at the crack of noon, thunder and lightning blasting through my skull as the beers from the night before threatened to split my head like an overripe melon. It was the beginning of fall term of my fifth and final year (91/92) at the University of Oregon, and my roommates and I had settled – out of necessity – in a dilapidated dump roughly a quarter mile off the southern edge of campus. Kindly Dr. Rankin, the slum lord of Eugene, was more than happy to rent his four-bedroom armpit to us for the not-so-princely sum of $400 a month – cash only please.
It was the blight of a neighborhood otherwise lined by pleasant middle-class homes with nicely manicured lawns. Our house (the NUT HOUSE, as it had been christened by the previous occupants, who had strategically placed large metal letters on its angled roof) was almost psychedelically lopsided and askew. Walking from one room to the next was like staggering drunkenly through a carnival fun house – nothing was on any kind of square. The place was distressed enough that my roommate Jonesy‘s mom burst into tears when she first saw it, and his stepfather entered into an awkward, one-sided negotiation with him on the front porch, trying to determine how much money it would take to get us to relocate.
But that scene was still to come. In the meantime, I was busy dragging around the 50lb ball & chain of my hangover when I remembered that this was the morning that Timmy T was due to move in – unofficially kicking off fall term. My bedroom was in the very back of the house, and as I approached the living room, I was pleasantly surprised to hear “THE LUNATIC IS ON THE GRASS” vibrating the walls and rattling the windows throughout the front half of the house. Tim was shirtless (not a pretty sight) and heaving around moving boxes full of his stuff while the Floyd achieved Lear-Jet-level decibels. One high-five and two bong hits later, my final year of college was well and truly under way…
Listen: Brain Damage