Bon Jovi’s brand of pop-metal has proven to be surprisingly durable in the marketplace. This group seemed like the flavor of the week in the late 80′s, but they’ve gone on to enjoy a long and successful career. Their biggest album by far was 1986′s Slippery When Wet, which spawned two number one hits (‘You Give Love A Bad Name’ and ‘Livin’ On A Prayer’) and another that reached the top ten (‘Wanted Dead Or Alive’). With more than 9 million copies sold, this wasn’t just the biggest hit of Bon Jovi’s career, it was one of the best-selling albums of the 1980′s.
The question: is this a worthwhile blast from the past, or an annoying reminder of a forgettable, bygone era?
THUMBS UP: Slippery When Wet has one extremely powerful factor in its favor: nostalgia. I was a junior in high school when this album was released, and I spent countless hours driving around Springfield in my VW bug, exploring every dilapidated corner of town and dreaming of the time when I could leave the sawmills and taverns behind for a piece of the bigger world. Slippery When Wet was (along with AC/DC, Prince, INXS, and a few others) one of the soundtracks of those long drives. And even though the songs sound extremely corny today, I’m not embarrassed to say that I once did my daydreaming to this album. Corn like this was made for young, stupid dreamers – and all my hopes came true, so I’ve got reason to smile when I hear it…
THUMBS DOWN: Warm fuzzies can only take you so far before common sense kicks in. It’s easy enough to poke fun at the pretty-boy, MTV glam image of the group (Jon Bon Jovi sure could rock a scarf), but my beef with them is strictly musical. Bon Jovi was pioneering in the dubious field of power balladry, and for that they shall forever live on my shit list. One of metal’s endearing characteristics was its tougher-than-hell, take-no-prisoners swagger. But after Slippery When Wet, power ballads became ubiquitous radio fare, and 80′s metal would never regain its air of danger. I did a lot of dumb things during my teenage years that seemed really fun at the time. Listening to Bon Jovi was far from the most dangerous among them, but it certainly makes the list.
[If you have ears, and were past diapers by the onset of the Reagan Administration, chances are you have an opinion of Bon Jovi. So let's hear it...]
Tags: Bon Jovi, Slippery When Wet, Springfield OR
22 June 2008 at 9:48 am |
Very funny.
22 June 2008 at 9:52 am |
During this time period, James Hetfield of Metallica had “Kill Bon Jovi” stenciled on the headstock of one of his guitars. That says it all.
22 June 2008 at 1:57 pm |
Suckdogs!
22 June 2008 at 3:10 pm |
Something tells me Mr. Foo won’t be happy about this thread.
22 June 2008 at 3:14 pm |
It’s really hard for me to see Mr. Foo coming down on the side of Mr. Bon Jovi…
22 June 2008 at 3:21 pm |
It’s really hard for me to see YOU coming down on the side of Mr. Bon Jovi.
22 June 2008 at 5:46 pm |
When you’re standing on the stage at Silver Clouds belting out “Wanted Dead or Alive”, you’re glad John had the sappy inner strength to put pen to paper. Plus it’s a very tone deaf friendly song.
22 June 2008 at 5:55 pm |
I still can’t believe that they were forced to re-issue that cover, because that original one with the yellow wet T-shirt with a little bit of cleavage was offensive… I mean I really didn’t think it was so bad compared to what other bands were putting out then… Like Scorpions…they were NOTABLY offensive in their time….But none the less… I didn’t think this record was 1/2 bad!!!..Nice post DK
22 June 2008 at 7:53 pm |
The vision in my head is of Klaus Meine’s semi-bald head juxtaposed with Jon bon jovi’s flowing New Jersey locks. I believe they were both into scarves.
22 June 2008 at 8:53 pm |
ok dk now you’ve crossed the line. Just because you don’t like a certain flavor of music doesn’t mean that it isn’t totally cool. And to say that Bon Jovi pioneered power ballads is a falsehood. Ever hear of a little song called “Beth” by a little group called “Kiss”? If anything, Jon BJ was simply showing his range by singing the power ballads. Don’t you think Ozzy or Hetfield would jump at the chance to cut a hit like the Crue’s “Home Swet Home”? I just don’t think they had the skills. Few people know this, but the song “Enter Sandman” was originally recorded as a ballad about how Hetfield was having trouble sleeping because of a break-up with his girlfriend (it was thought to be influenced by the Beatle’s “I’m so tired”). He chickened out on releasing that version because he wasn’t able to hit the right notes during the chorus.
In my book, this album was the crowning achievement of a decade of awesome hits like the Scorpion’s “Still Loving You”, the aforementioned Crue hit; and who can forget “Sister Christian” by Night Ranger? I have my lighter in the air as I am typing this.
The real question you should be asking yourself – mister smarty pants – is how this album stacks up against some of the great albums of all time and how the album sales validate this often maligned form of music.
22 June 2008 at 9:18 pm |
Guilty… I’ve got a hard copy floating around somewhere (the one with the infamous yellow t-shirt, no less).
22 June 2008 at 10:11 pm |
Regarding album sales validating anything: sales don’t mean squat. Is Kraft Mac&Cheeze a culinary masterpiece just because it’s the best selling macaroni dinner in all the land??
And fyi, I intentionally selected a metaphor that involved cheese…
Oh, and this just in: Elvis actually pioneered the power ballad with ‘Heartbreak Hotel’. He was a bad boy…
22 June 2008 at 10:15 pm |
I told you so…
22 June 2008 at 10:23 pm |
Foo is a professional Devil’s Advocate.
Next week I’m going to have him up in arms over Culture Club…
22 June 2008 at 10:24 pm |
Like you, dk, this album has a sentimental value that defies all logic or taste. It’s like that scene in Ratatouille when the food critic takes a bite and is instantly transported back in time, in my case, to the locker room of my college hockey team, where we’d unabashedly belt out the lyrics to Livin’ on a Prayer like our lives depended on it. (Go ahead, laugh, you bastards. I’m not ashamed.) A big, sticky thumbs up from the man in the Members Only jacket, the one with the loaded six-string on his back.
22 June 2008 at 11:21 pm |
mmm…Mac & Cheese. I could eat that stuff all day long.
23 June 2008 at 12:10 am |
Just like Mac & Cheese: TIMELESS.
23 June 2008 at 4:07 pm |
I Hated, Hated, Hated, Hated, Hated this album…and still do. This is my memory of “Slippery When Wet” and it’s painfully vivid:
It’s 1987. I’m stationed at Camp Hansen in Okinawa and some kind government official has the fantastic idea to spend a few taxpayer dollars on a video jukebox for the snack bar. Great, because we don’t get MTV in Japan so this should be a nice way to keep in touch with what’s going on in the States.
Now, I knew right away that my musical tastes were a little too “New Wave” to see many of my favorites (Psychedelic Furs, INXS, Big Audio Dynamite, etc.) represented in this newfangled gadget. But I had no idea what typhoon of pain was about to be unleashed.
Every homesick, lovesick, fucking jarhead that had an extra dollar was playing “Wanted: Dead or Alive” (The album had been out for months at the time and this was the video/song that was getting the most airplay). Didn’t matter that it had played only five minutes ago…lets do it again. ‘Cause who doesn’t wanna be a cowboy on a steel horse?
Well, I don’t, that’s who. But after being exposed to it dozens of times, I have that black & white concert and behind-the-scenes footage burned into my memory. Big Jersey hair, spandex, Bon Jovi’s pre-concert stretch routine, WTF. Suddenly, all the rumors about the military conducting experiments on enlisted personnel rang true. I should’ve gotten hazard pay for that shit.
23 June 2008 at 5:48 pm |
Ah yes the great music of Bon Jovi. Sometimes I wish I could still throw on Slippery When Wet, some spandex shorts and a Swatch watch and relive that glorious era. Just think about how awesome it was to tap into one of those 2 liter bottles of California Coolers “fuzzy navel” or an Old E 40 while cranking up these awesome tunes. Or Maybe, just to throw in a mix tape conisting of Ratt, Poison, Twisted Sister, Cinderella, Night Ranger, Winger and Stryper. Good times, good times. Come on you guys know what I am talking about. But seriously, McDonalds has sold a lot of hamburgers, but just because we have all eaten one doesn’t change the fact that it is still a crappy hamburger. That’s where Bon Jovi and all of those bands are with me. Yes I listened, hell sometimes I may have even shouted out “I Wanna Rock”, but god am I glad they all faded away.
24 February 2009 at 10:22 am |
I could never figure out why Jon Bon Blow me would have a Misfits patch on his jacket/skirt in a video? Both from Jersey is all I can assume. The punk rock, death metal, thrash people wanted to Kill Bon Jovi. No of these craps bands ever admitted to listening to say The Sex Pistols, until after Nirvana, and it became fashionable… But you can spot a douche bag more easily in the world, really simple, they will be wearing a Bon Jovi shirt.
19 June 2010 at 12:17 am |
hmmmm
all i can say is, thins thing was HUGE in Calgary, that should say it all… shitkick alberta. redneck breeding grounds (ne: INbreeding) et al
in terms of the cover, naw, the cleavage wasn’t offensive, but it was just a stupid looking cover. the wet glad garbage bag was a far better idea, and really helped get the girls into the music. rather than trying to bait their latent bisexual urges with the og cover (wtf? naw, just some cynisarcasm)
in regards to the music, it really sucks. but something about rockin’ out the 3 staples hits on my iTouch whilst wandering the streets of Skankhai (my new home) whilst the rest o the folks are rockin their s.h.e. faye wong and other canto-poop atrocities really makes me feel like i might have a chance at fitting in. plus, it really does bring back high school for me, although i was on the punk and alternative side during those days, i was surprised at the fact i actually knew all the words when i downloaded it as a lark.
hmmm
shit it may be, but it’s like a good solid shit one has after a pig roast. satisfying, relieving and somehow you walk away feeling really empty and lightheaded.
thumbs up for boingiovi
10 April 2012 at 1:26 am |
swatch online store…
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