I went to the dentist the other day. I have a pretty decent dentist: nice punctual staff, renovated office with a view of a tree-filled park, all the latest gadgets for plaque removal, and none too preachy about my flossing regimen.
But the music. Whoa. They broadcast a local radio station who’s claim to fame is “light rock, less talk. And at least three commercials for every song.” I wasn’t consciously tracking the playlist during my hour visit, but it was just so bad I couldn’t help it. I did count – there were 9 songs in a 60 minute span, and most were lil’ shorties. So between Rod Stewart (who I understand is a shitbag), Lionel Richie, Mariah Carey and 6 other songs, they had 2-3 commercials. It reinforced the ghastly state of FM radio, and reassured me that I am missing nothing by leaving my dial at NPR.
And it reminded me of Dr. Kessler.
Dr. Kessler was my childhood dentist. He subscribed to Muzak, back when Muzak was a single bland channel, designed to fade into the background like the beige carpet and sofa. Except that the volume of the speakers in his office was loud… way too loud for Muzak. It made waiting for your appointment (and there always seemed to be waiting waiting waiting) that much more painful. These were the experiences that gave Muzak a black eye.
[The good doctor's dental career came to an abrupt end when he took his wife hostage in their home with a kitchen knife, and it was widely reported in the local papers. Oddly, we seemed to stop going to him right about that same time...]
Tags: dentist music, muzak
22 May 2008 at 9:14 pm |
Man, dentists really seem to snap, don’t they? I know a certain ex-roommate of your husband had his family dentist give up the practice via suicide.
23 May 2008 at 9:59 am |
this is an outrage! Do you know what Rod Stewart has done for music? He has sold out the largest arenas around the world and has sold more records than there are grains of sand in the Sahara. I’ve had enough of you people disrespecting the finest musicians of our generation! Enough I tell you! Anywho – what’s a ‘shitbag’ exactly?
23 May 2008 at 10:36 am |
Technically speaking, “spermbag” is probably more accurate. Or so I hear.
23 May 2008 at 2:50 pm |
“What I do now is all my dad’s fault, because he bought me a guitar as a boy, for no apparent reason.”
23 May 2008 at 3:04 pm |
The more you floss, the more quickly you’re in and out of the world of Muzak and FM radio…
23 May 2008 at 4:15 pm |
Billy Joel, Rod Stewart, Hall & Oates, Journey, Chicago et al are the new Muzak™…
23 May 2008 at 4:20 pm |
…and Weezer, Oasis, Counting Crows, Dave Matthews, Coldplay et al are on deck.